Up, Down, Fuck You Up

For some time this is genuinely what I thought Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars were on about in their song, but no.

Instead, I’ve decided it’s an accurate portrayal of my day. Especially because I am now in a funk from which I have no idea how to recover. Every word or action from my boyfriend has exacerbated it and I have now alienated him for the evening too.

Not ideal when I need him to reach out to me and fix this.

Not ideal when I blame him almost entirely for triggering this mood, but he still can’t understand why.

As such we’re sat in silence; I at the table, he slumped on the couch like a sad, pathetic shadow. Whatever his deficiencies, I know I am responsible for driving him to this state, just as he is responsible for mine.

Some would say we’re probably not meant to be…

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